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x_snowvalley2009-02-02 08:46 am
x-maverick.livejournal.com) wrote in x_snowvalley2009-02-02 08:46 am
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Greetings and introduction.
Now that the Ramsey boy in the IT office has set up everything in my corner cubicle here, I suppose I should make a formal introduction. For those of you I have not yet met, I am David North, and officially I am the new Manager of Human Resources here at the Snow Valley Memorial Center for Mutant Affairs. And I can see from past expense reports and personnel files that this is going to be quite the challenge.
My resumé is on file, but in short: 11 years with Initech Benefits Management as an account manager; prior to that, 6 years as a field operative for Weapon X; prior to that, 5 years with the Ministry for State Security in East Germany. And to answer the question, yes, one of the resident telepaths has gone through my brain to ensure that I'm not here to snap and kill you all.
I am informed that working here often needs that particular reassurance.
Today I plan on going through personnel files on all Snow Valley employees to familiarize myself with all of you and more importantly to take a close eye at the legitimate benefits the company is offering you as employees. Should anyone wish to see me concerning your investment, insurance, or retirement plans - I apparently do not yet merit an assistant, so you may simply drop by the cubicle with the "new employee" smell.
My resumé is on file, but in short: 11 years with Initech Benefits Management as an account manager; prior to that, 6 years as a field operative for Weapon X; prior to that, 5 years with the Ministry for State Security in East Germany. And to answer the question, yes, one of the resident telepaths has gone through my brain to ensure that I'm not here to snap and kill you all.
I am informed that working here often needs that particular reassurance.
Today I plan on going through personnel files on all Snow Valley employees to familiarize myself with all of you and more importantly to take a close eye at the legitimate benefits the company is offering you as employees. Should anyone wish to see me concerning your investment, insurance, or retirement plans - I apparently do not yet merit an assistant, so you may simply drop by the cubicle with the "new employee" smell.
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But it is for the best, I suppose. This way, we do not have to have Doug track you down to send you the follow-up report on last week's problem.
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...I suppose I should object to being referred to as "the Ramsey boy", but I suspect that's rather a matter of perspective.